I’m With Crazy

I was 10 years old when I tested an electric fence. I was today years old when I realized it wasn’t because I leaned my fishing pole against it.

What will I leave them?

my very last breath

10 toes down

Gripping my mother

More and then some

Self preservation can be a fucked up thing sometimes

13 years of muscle memory

A constricted love story

18 years apart left a mark

I’m walking away  

Exposing all of me

Restoring a faith lost

Nourishing a wounded soul

Safety first

Keep your hands in at all times

If at any time the masks drop down

Put your mask on first before helping someone else

Now enjoy the ride

Music is life

Set off that grenade 

Shake loose of those crawlspaces

Step into the sun

Love IS what WE need.


My words fill every corner, crevice and curve of my body.

I hurl them onto this keyboard hoping they’ll stick.

I don’t know whose eyes other than my own they seek.

Whose heart they’re meant to make ache.

I don’t want those tears.


Promise me, when I die, you’ll crumple all of my words and put them gently back into my mouth.

There She Is

Wheat colored


Strawberry Mountain


Morgan Lake


Blue Mountains


Island City


Mint fields


The rock crusher was across the river from the big yellow house. I can still remember the smell of creosote soaked wood in the hot sun.

The smell of the warm yellow grass. The dirt was so soft, it felt like corn starch between my toes. The train tracks surrounding the house.

The big inner tubes Papa would bring home from the loaders so we could float on the pond at the quarry. The smoothness  and warmth of the inner tube in the hot sun reminded me of Nana’s belly. I liked rubbing my cheek on it. My safe place.

The hole in the side of Papa’s shop. A crawl space just big enough for two of us kids. Our comics. Baby food jars with our potions of perfume, dirt, bugs  and puddle water.

The big pear tree out front with the bats.

That’s where I lost my heart. I think I left it in the blue bathroom. Or maybe the back bedroom. I know there’s a piece in that crawl space. It’s definitely there, at the big yellow house, across the river from the rock crusher. I can hear it beating still.


I’m Here Now

I’d like to be touched again.

Touched without my shadow.


Touched like a real girl.

A clean girl.

A clean girl who likes to get dirty.


I married a man who doesn’t like touch.

Ashamed to touch.

Awkward with his touch.

Purposeful but meaningless with his touch.


I’m a girl who has been touched.

Who craves touch.

Even when it hurts.


Touch me in the sunlight.

In the backseat of a car.

Just touch me.

Remind me, I’m there.